“Treat your anger like your teacher, let it tell you what you need to do to build a better version of yourself.”

In an article on Medium, Supportiv Co-Founder Pouria Mojabi shares why it’s worthwhile, especially for men, to consciously use anger for personal growth.

Mojabi’s commentary is informed by experience, approaching the subject of male anger from a peer’s perspective. The article covers the following topics related to anger in men:

  • What is anger and why shouldn’t we ignore it?
    • Why does anger exist in the first place?
  • Anger is a helpful guide. How can you use it as the tool that it is?
  • Identifying anger instead of ignoring it
    • Examples of how active anger looks and feels for men
    • Aim to notice the warning signs before anger has fully set in
    • And, keep an eye out for the signs of repressed anger
  • Know what reacting to anger looks like, so you can stop yourself in the moment
    • To stop yourself from reacting to anger, take a break
  • How to let your anger serve you once you’ve noticed it
    • Consider the context
    • Avoid the anger-control connection
    • Focus on what you can do
  • Preventing uncontrollable anger
    • Giving your emotions airtime
    • When anger is inflamed by physical health 
    • How can you strategize to break out of the pain/anger cycle?

Here’s how Mojabi frames his experience with learning to recognize and use anger as a tool:

I, like other men around the world, grew up believing that anger was black and white. I could either stuff it down, or explode when I couldn’t hold it in anymore. If a friend made me angry, I would either distance myself, or marinate in bitterness until I burned a bridge. I came to feel there had to be a better response to my anger.

Through my own mental health journey, I’ve learned by experience that eliminating anger is not the goal. Instead, getting to know anger and using its signs holds the key to growth as a man and as a person.

Investing in “getting to know” your anger has tremendous benefits that can unlock your full potential–whether that’s at home, at work, or with friends.”

Read the full article on Medium, learn more about peer support, or check out Supportiv’s feature in Men’s Health.